Settling In

It’s almost 11 pm on a Monday night. I sit curled up on Helena’s sofa, still wearing the long skirt that I wore to class today, contemplating changing into my pajamas. At the table on the other side of the room, Hans, Nick and Helena are working on their Religion Policy together over bowls of chili. Since I am not in their class, I am over here studying. Can you tell?

There were times when I first got back to California that, as happy as I was to be studying again, to be immersing myself in hard work, to be close enough to see family on the weekends, I nevertheless assumed, quite simply, that friendship was something I’d left behind in Virginia. I would sit at the beach by myself, almost content to be alone, but wishing despite myself that I had my little group of friends to go home to. I missed my college friends. I missed my church. I missed Sunday afternoons with my roommates and Felicity and, yes, I even missed Chris (much as I hated to admit it). After five years of such fellowship I couldn’t imagine being at home with anyone else. But that was ok. I had work to do. This would just be a couple years of a different stage of life, I thought.

But as I sit here tonight, I realize . . . almost for the first time . . . that I’m settling in despite myself. I’ve found a few of those moments of home after all. It isn’t the same, of course – how could it be? People are so very different. But that doesn't change the fact that we are friends. . .

Right now, it’s Hans’ turn to read. He’s reading a Churchill speech about the American Declaration of Independence. In true Hans form, he includes the parenthetical sound effects “this is a war for righteousness! (cheers)” His voice is dry, but takes on a sudden enthusiasm every time he reads the word “cheers.” The other three have turned it into a “drinking game” (good thing Helena’s drink of choice is water and Hans and Nick are only drinking red wine). Now he reads “loud and sustained cheering.” Their glasses clink and they cheer obligingly. From my corner I crack up. They are distracting me. I’m definitely not studying. Oh well. I don’t mind if I get nothing done tonight. It’s almost bedtime anyway. For now, it’s good to feel like I belong.

And if this moment of blessing isn't enough. . . I get to go to my "other home" next week. God is good.